I often talk and write about how much meditation has helped me, yet when people ask me for advice about how to do it, I honestly struggle to explain.
I’m certainly no monk, I’ve only been practicing seriously for about 5 years now. And I think it’s quite a personal process. Everyone has their own way of learning and even doing it. What I can share is how I got to where I currently am, and what I do, and you can see if it helps you.
There are a lot of different official kinds of meditation. Rather than write about them all, here’s a link you can check out. I do a little bit of all of them. Incidentally, don’t believe you need to pay to do courses or stick to any one particular method. Just experiment and find what works for you. At the end of the day I’ve come to understand that all meditation is essentially about controlling your mind in order to access another level of consciousness – be it by focusing on a mantra, or an activity, or on nothingness.
You don’t need to quiet your mind
Whatever you do, don’t allow yourself to be overwhelmed by all the terminology and methodology and then start to judge whether or not you’re doing it right. One of the most important aspects of meditation is practicing non-judgement. If you can learn not to judge yourself it’s a fantastic step towards also accepting others, as well as unexpected situations.
Most of my friends who’ve tried and given up meditation did exactly that. They tell me how their minds just won’t quiet, and that they are therefore incapable of meditating. This couldn’t be further from the truth; everyone can do it! And if your first accomplishment is simply to let your mind go a million miles an hour without judging yourself for it, great! Even noticing that you are thinking is a step in the right direction. Most of us don’t even realise just how constantly our minds go go go…. They’re like infinite snowballs of thoughts.
Learning to meditate is a process. Like any muscle in the body it needs to be exercised in order to grow stronger. You wouldn’t start running and on the first try expect to go full speed for an hour now, would you?
At the same time, quieting the mind is only one kind of meditation. It doesn’t necessarily even need to be your goal. You can also practice just controlling where you put your attention. For example, while your mind is racing, are you able to stop it and listen to the sound of the cars passing for a while? Then jump over to the noise of your dish washer running… ok, now the kids playing outside your window. This simple exercise is also a kind of meditation!
Anything that works that muscle is going to help you have better regulation over your thoughts and emotions and reactions.
Meditation to relax and heal
My favourite kind of meditation is for relaxing. It’s totally effortless and so helpful. I know that I always function so much better when I’m really relaxed. My reactions are sharper, even my comic timing improves! I’m an auditory learner, so for me, pleasant sounds are the easiest way to access my meditative state. When I’m absolutely overwhelmed with stress and can feel the muscles in my body tightening, I force myself to sit down and listen to Tibetan singing bowls. This is my favourite one:
There is something about knowing that this guy is sitting there so calmly and purposefully playing that makes it resonate with me even more. After about twenty or thirty minutes I feel so calm. While I’m listening, however, I also try to focus intensely on the sounds. I feel the frequencies running through my body, as if the sound is cleaning my blood and ridding my body and soul of all toxins and toxic energy. I suppose there is an element of visualisation there too. If I start thinking, so be it. I think until I become aware I am thinking and then I go back to focused listening again.
Active meditation
Something else that people forget is that you don’t necessarily need to be sitting down to meditate. If you have found a sport or type of exercise that allows you to completely focus on only that, you’ve given your brain a different type of work-out. But, if you’re out there thinking about a problem at work while you’re doing it, you’re not in a meditative state, in which case, just practice non-judgement of the fact. Musicians and creative people are in a type of meditative state when they’re creating too. And I’ve found that doing other types of meditation (the one where I’m sitting cross-legged clearing my mind) helps me have a lot more concentration and inspiration when I’m making music or writing.
Pain management
Last year I managed to pinch a nerve in my spine doing Yin Yoga. This resulted in chronic pain throughout my body for weeks on end. The doctors gave me pain-killers, but absolutely nothing was working. In desperation, I tried to meditate. I lay on the floor and focused on the source of the pain. As soon as my mind connected to my body I knew exactly where that source was and where it was radiating to. Then I mentally pushed that source down my spine, down my legs, and out through my feet. I did the same in the opposite direction – I visualised the pain traveling up my arms and out through my hands. I was lying on the floor like a star fish emanating a constant outward flow of pain. And guess what? It worked. No more pain! For the first time in about a week I couldn’t feel it. It was sweet heavenly relief. During the course of my healing I spent hours in this state. Unfortunately, the relief from the pain only lasted about 15 minutes post meditation, so I just had to keep doing it!
Quieting your thoughts
This one is miraculous, if you can achieve it. What I usually find is that, at first, my ability to quiet my mind doesn’t last long. It feels like about 20 seconds, but it’s probably less. Anyway, to do this one, I start by focusing on one particular thing, and each time my thoughts pop back in I refocus. For example, I’ll focus on the sensation of blood moving through my body, or my breath, or a sound in the room. After some time gently refocusing over and over and over, I’m usually so relaxed that I can gradually let go of the focus and let everything just sort of pass by around me. It’s like I’m in a little happy bubble of my own making. I’m aware of the noises, I’m aware of my thoughts wanting to surface but I’m giving attention to NONE of them.
It’s also important to be sitting up for this type of meditation. If not, you may fall asleep!
Once I’m in this state I often see bright light in front of my closed eyes, or my eyelids will uncontrollably twitch. Whatever happens I just try to allow it to be. Sometimes though, I get scared and snap myself out of the meditation. It’s truly a process of being able to let go of all control.
You can imagine the benefits of this one. Firstly, learning to let go of control – wow… MASSIVELY HELPFUL. Secondly, a deep state of relaxation which can actually heal and release emotional pain. Thirdly, when you come out of it, you sometimes have answers to questions and problems you never would have been able to conceive of.
Warning – you can also end up having crazy dreams that night in which your deepest subconscious wounds surface in order to be able to heal. Through this meditation, and the dreams that follow, life-long harmful patterns are given a chance to release or transmute, and you ultimately grow as a person.
Why bother doing this?
I predict that almost every post I write about spirituality will come back to recommending meditation. I can’t say enough about the benefits of it personally. From the ability to manage your own emotions, to how you react to other people’s emotions. …Focus, discipline, comfort, relaxation, healing, self-awareness, self-love! In a meditative state you escape the self you have constructed, your ego dissolves away. You’re connected to the divine, and to all life. It’s absolute freedom from everything. And in a global sense, I am quite confident that if we all practiced meditation, war would end, compassion would prevail.
The very wise Jim Carrey has a lot to say on the subject, I highly recommend browsing through his speeches.
I wish I could give you a long list of links to useful guided meditations, but for the most part I don’t use them anymore. During my process of discovering meditation, however, I watched A LOT of youtube videos and read a lot about all the different types of meditation. Then I just experimented and did my own thing. So if you’re keen to try it I suggest you do the same. And if I can help in any way, please let me know!
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